BARONY OF GLAEDENFELD, MERIDIES – In an SCA first, a non-SCAdian is voted into all four bestowed peerages simultaneously. Dolly Parton was named to the Orders of Laurel, Pelican, Defense, and Chivalry today in a joint voting and elevation ceremony in the kingdom of Meridies. “While none of us have ever fought her,” stated Duke Waggoner do Porto, “We once saw a video of her flat-snap Kenny Rogers with a mic stand. And that’s good enough for us.”
The other bestowed peerages also spoke highly of the multiple Grammy Award-winning, Country Music Hall of Fame and Kennedy Center honoree. “I have filked to Jolene so many times!” Laurel and Meridies bardic champion Sibil del Grange shrieked as a rhinestone-bedazzled effigy of the absent singer was led into court.
When asked for comment Parton’s publicist told the reporter “The SCA is in direct violation of the 2002 restraining order, and if it doesn’t desist we will be forced to take greater steps to further ensure my client’s safety and privacy.”
We here at The SCAllion assume the star is simply beyond words for this great honor.
the SCAllion 