Clothing Laurel suffocates under 300-pound fabric stash; friends say fitting end, how she would have wanted to go

The SCAllion regrets to announce that Mistress Pomponne de Ypres, OL, known best for her work in Burgundian garb and use of fur in the 14th and 15th centuries, was found dead in her home last Tuesday.

Friends became concerned when she missed a fabric sale the weekend prior. Upon investigating, they discovered her in her sewing room buried beneath her fabric stash. Early reports indicate she suffocated rapidly under the yardage, which is rumored to significantly exceed 300lbs.

“I guess the shelf couldn’t hold it any more,” said one observer. “But honestly, this was exactly right. The way that red silk Sartor brocade was draped over her? It was like a Renaissance painting. She would have approved.”

“At least she didn’t suffer much,” said another, “although I wish she had let me put up those shelves for her. She never was handy with tools and I think she missed the studs.”

The fabric will be auctioned off to defray funeral costs.