Atenveldt · Trimaris · War of the Phoenix

BREAKING – Tom Brady retires mundanely, SCAllion editorial team smug

BARONY OF WYVERNWOODE, TRIMARIS – As we reported recently, Tom Brady has announced his retirement from professional football.

While Brady has not publicly announced his future plans, we at The SCAllion would like to remind you that we posted news of his retirement well in advance of his public announcement, and if you think that he won’t sign with Atenveldt as we predicted, well, how dare you doubt our reliability as a news source.

When asked for a rare public comment on how we broke this story before any mundane news source, The SCAllion Editor in Chief smirked.

Now that we know we don’t just report the news, but actually make the news, subscribe for updates to our stories coming out later today, including “SCAllion staff receives large bags of untaxable money,” “SCAllion editor in chief to become first SCAdian astronaut,” and “ Calontir announces first licensed derivative work: SCAllion, the musical.”

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