BARONY OF ATENVELDT, ATENVELDT – “I showed up to this event, right?” began Lord Ulric von Munchen, a squire to Duke Ibn Ibn fad Ibn, KSCA, “And there was no fighting. None. Not even pickups!” he sullenly reported to The SCAllion, “It was like, this crazy art gallery thing or something. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there were tons of hot chicks, at least.”
The event in question was Atenveldt Kingdom Arts and Sciences. “I just don’t think it’s fair,” said Comites Marcus Apulius Germanicus. “Since when did art matter in the ancient and medieval world? Don’t they know that all the Romans did was fight and conquer and fight and conquer and fight—” His Excellency swung his rattan gladius a bit too close while speaking, causing the listeners to clear space. “How else are we supposed to showcase our masculinity?”
An unnamed knight actually struck a pose when answering our questions, “Look, everyone knows that everything in the SCA is in service to the Tournament. Art has its place: making the Tournament field look good.”
A lamenting squire, Lord Shane MacGowan, said “I always thought chicks dug fighters. But other than, you know, those other girls we don’t really want to date, you know, the ones that hang out with us dudes and fight? Yeah, they were all cooing over that ancient grumpy Duchess’ embroidery project.”
They showed even more confusion when they found out that the individuals who hustled around the event, making sure it happened, gave them water on the field, cooked their snacks, and even cleaned the bathrooms were not migrant workers as expected, but many of them on the very well respected path towards, or members of, the Order of the Pelican.
“Pelican?” questioned The Honorable Lord Matt ‘Meatball’ Fyre, squire to Comites Marcus, “But we’re nowhere near the ocean!”
Some at least acknowledged other forms of combat existed, but insisted that “rapier was for wussies” and archers “All needed to —–redacted—-“.
The Arts & Sciences Competition was won by Mistress Isabel Sancte George, with her recreation of the daily leather accoutrements of a typical woman of the 1490s Lyon, including belt, shoes, and reading glasses.
the SCAllion 