BARONY OF SUN DRAGON, KINGDOM OF ATENVELDT – In a move that surprises absolutely nobody, Tom Brady has come back out of retirement to sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl LVII in the Barony of Sun Dragon. Sir Tom Brady, after retiring Monday, announced that he had re-signed with Atenveldt to perform as the National Anthem singer for the event and that he had invited Baron Goaty McGoatface, Bardic Champion of the West, to assist his performance in a rare instance of Cross-Kingdom Champions cooperation. It will be a powerful moment indeed when both the GOAT and the Goat sing The Star-Spangled Banner this Sunday.
When asked why Sir Tom was invited to sing the anthem, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell told The SCAllion, “In his entire 22-year career in the NFL, we never knew Mr. Brady was such a gifted singer. I caught his performance on the TikToks and knew he had the chops to sing the anthem.” When asked by The SCAllion if he was okay with His Excellency Goaty coming along for accompaniment, Mr. Goodell said, “Well, the GOAT knows goats and champions know champions, so it should be a sight to behold. We also can’t say no to Mr. Brady…Like legally, it’s been in his contract ever since Spygate.” When informed that Sir Tom had retired from the NFL, Mr. Goodell got a distant look on his face, screamed “WE’RE FREE! WE’RE FINALLY FREE!” and ran off while stripping nude. A few crewmembers working on preparations for the game snarked that it was clear that “Mr. Brady clearly just wanted to be back at the Super Bowl again, no matter what.”
The pair will sing the anthem at the conclusion of the Super Bowl pregame show, which is scheduled to last as long as an An Tir Twelfth Night court, this coming February 12th, A.S. LVII.
the SCAllion 