Goody Advice came to us a few weeks ago with the generous offer to do an advice column for The SCAllion. We were at first extremely hesitant, as we felt it was an obvious ploy to determine the identity of the staff, but we polled our interns for some questions and decided that the answers might be of use to our readership.
Dear Goody,
The largesse that royals give out is always on a spectrum of slightly shitty to fully tacky. How do I tell them that they should be encouraging better quality donations?
Sincerely,
Trying to be Helpful
Dear Trying:
Hope this helps,
Relying upon donations and volunteers often means you get what you get but it sounds as if you would be a wonderful largesse manager for the Crown! Go volunteer for that job right now! Gather volunteers every reign to give, give, give and get that ship shape! I am certain the voyage will be an enlightening one.
-Goody Advice
Dear Goody,
My partner is a clothing laurel who constantly complains about my cotton-poly T-tunics, flannel pajama pants, and ring belts, saying I “make them look bad,” but refuses to make me any “more acceptable” outfits because they’re too busy outfitting royalty and other high-visibility people. How can I get them to either stop complaining or make me better garb?
Underdressed in Æthelmearc
Dear Underdressed,
Have you ever heard the phrase “I made it with my very own money”? Sounds like it might be time to bust out that good old credit card, my friend. But, don’t go over the top, just a little better than you are now. THEN you can start pushing incremental change. “I just need X or Y to complete this outfit, can you help me out please?” is way better than “I need an entire outfit/ensemble”.
Hope this helps!
-Goody Advice
Dear Goody,
How do I tell my peer they’re being an asshole?
Very Embarrassed Squire
Dear V. E. Squire,
Wait until you are out of garb, and then carefully and in a steady voice, using clear enunciation, say their modern name, then say “You were being an asshole, sir.”
Hope this helps!
-Goody Advice
the SCAllion 
The tone is certainly different from the rest of the SCAllion.
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