Knight returning to SCA after 30-year absence can’t understand how fencers are now considered people

SHIRE-MARCH OF GRIMFELLS, CALONTIR – A knight who left the SCA for personal reasons returned recently after a 30-year absence. Upon his return he was baffled and offended to discover that rapier fighters were now considered equals among many, and had even achieved a Peerage of their own.

Sir Eomir Silverwolf of the Seven Glens recently returned to the SCA and, upon attending his first event back, was shocked to see that fencing was not only allowed at the same event as heavy fighting, but that it was actually featured. “When did we start treating the wire weenies like people?” he cried, clearly distraught at what he was witnessing. “Who do these people think they are? Back in my day, they knew their place. How did this happen? Don’t they know how real fighters behave?”

When Sir Silverwolf discovered that the Order of Defense had been created, and saw Maestra Illiana Rosecroft in her Order regalia, he appeared to go into some sort of convulsions, while at the same time rending his garments and tearing at his hair. Some witnesses claimed to see froth coming from his mouth, but this was unconfirmed at the time of publication.