SHIRE OF PANTHER VALE, THE EAST – “Long Live the People’s Republic of the East!” cried the populace at the conclusion of Birka’s record-breaking 37-hour court this last January. The East Kingdom, known for crowning two killer kings and home to all but one Ivy League university, has sought to rebrand itself as something less autocratic and more communal.
“Republics are period, Comrade,” stated Master Philip d’Aquitaine, OL, of Brookline, Massachusetts within the Barony of Carolingia. “It’s way overdue that we give far more power to the people to elect the snobbiest peers we have in the kingdom to a senate that will, in no way, shape, or form, create the equality and equity for our populace that we are all striving for.” Master Philip received his Laurel in Medieval Communes after completing his degree from the Harvard Kennedy School in 1997, where he studied Marxism.
Upon the submission of this petition to the Board of Directors, the netizens of the East argued on social media for a solid day before another scandal arose elsewhere to distract their attention.
Addendum: After publication of this article, the Eastern netizens complained on social media that they were being made fun of. As of this writing, they are still arguing and four peers have received sanctions for royalist leanings.
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