BARONY OF THESCORRE, ÆTHELMEARC – Over the weekend, the Kingdom of Æthelmearc announced a dramatic move towards formally changing its name. In an effort to present a more modern approach to the public as a way to increase recruitment, the Kingdom has chosen to be named ‘Yinz’.
Baron William Ethelred, the Kingdom Seneschal, explained the reasoning behind this change. “Well, everyone in this region uses the phrase Yinz in everyday speech. We figured that Kingdom of Yinz would increase our public profile and exposure and our recruitment capability. While our SCA safety record is certainly better than the Steelers, we figured the crossover from football to heavy combat would not be hard for the public to make. If celebrities can do it, why not us?”
Heralds of the kingdom have documented Yins/Yinz as a surname to extremely late period England, thus keeping the original national origin of the name while updating for a more culturally relevant term for the people of the Pennsylvania/New York/West Virgina kingdom. “Yinz” is the regional second person plural – the local equivalent to “y’all”.
Media representative Issace Castellani said “Sure, some of the public will join the Kingdom of Yinz thinking it’s about football, but we figure we can cross them over. After all, the equivalent of the heavy combat Super Bowl takes place in the Kingdom every year, and what fan doesn’t want access to that? We figured something catchy would increase our footprint. Besides, this will mean we are no longer one of the dreaded ‘A’ Kingdoms.”
CROWN LANDS, DRACHENWALD – Recent publication of the event information for Drachenwald’s upcoming Crown tournament has caused a notable subset of the population to lodge a formal DEI complaint, alleging that the site is inaccessible to vampires and other persons with reduced vitality.
“At a start, there are accessibility concerns,” said Contesâ Narkissa, lead author of the complaint. “The only entry to the site is over a rapid brook. We vampires can’t access the site that way, so it’s a real issue.”
“The site itself is also an active church,” she continued, teeth lengthening in frustration. “So a lot of it is consecrated ground that’s just unsafe for us. We’ll be able to watch the fighting if shade is provided and there are covered walkways to the field, but both Royal Court and feast are scheduled for the indoors, and we simply cannot get into those spaces. We’re physically unable to cross the threshold.”
Feast is another consideration, as the proposed menu is heavy on garlic and Narkissa’s requests for alternatives have reportedly not been responded to. “This really is an inclusion issue,” Narkissa told us. “I can almost always find someone to snack on at events, but feast is such an integral part of the Dream it’s a shame people are being excluded due to their dietary restrictions. It’s a really bad idea for me to be in a room with garlic.”
Domn Alexandrel Calugarul, the Event Steward, told us that he believes the complaint is without merit. “The reality is that our vampire population doesn’t attend events like this,” he said while working on the silver site tokens for the event, “and for the vast majority of attendees, it’s going to work just fine. Why would I go to even minimal effort to make event sites accessible for people who haven’t gone the extra mile to attend events at sites that don’t meet their criteria or are physically dangerous for them?”
Contesâ Narkissa hissed in response to this statement. “It’s a frustrating but common viewpoint among those with full vitality,” she said. “I’m more than willing to help educate him on the difficulties, though. Perhaps he could invite me into his home and I can acquaint him personally with the challenges we face.”
BARONY OF BODLINGTONE, BODLANDIA — The SCAllion has uncovered breaking news from the SCA’s Interim Board of Directors: They are immediately lifting the Revocations and Denials of Membership the previous BoD had imposed on themselves.
Interim Board President Duke Wulfstan of the High Mountains elaborated: “We just think the previous BoD deserves a second chance. We believe they have learned their lesson, and will be much better SCAdians going forward. We as an interim Board have made the unanimous decision to not only lift their R&Ds, but to immediately step aside and allow the previous Directors to take their positions back right away. After all, they were smart enough to R&D themselves for their previous issues and transgressions, and having some time away has surely given them better insight into how to better serve the SCA going forward.”
Newly reinstated Board member Mistress Elizabeth Conrad Schwartzengruben was quoted as saying: “Have they calmed down yet? Good gosh, these people need to relax a little. Now that we’re back in place we’ll pick up where we left off and continue to ignore everyone equally. We don’t want to be accused of favoritism or racism or sexism or misogyny or any of those other things we were accused of before.”
The SCAllion will closely monitor the newly reinstated Board for further reporting, which we have no doubt will be soon in coming.
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