Arts and Sciences · Atlantia

Local SCA Alchemist’s Guild meeting mistaken for meth lab: law enforcement stunned

BARONY OF CAER MEAR, ATLANTIA – The SCAllion discovered a recently raided meth lab was actually a front for the local Society for Creative Anachronism group’s Alchemists Guild, shocking and stunning law enforcement departments involved in the raid.

Police Lieutenant Steve Stark commented on the drug bust: “We couldn’t figure out what we were seeing. We got an anonymous tip that the location was being frequented by suspicious-looking characters and there were several kinds of noxious odors emanating from the place. We got there, set up, did our entry, and we assumed we had found a meth lab. But then we started looking closer and what was reported did not match what was in evidence on the site. The ‘Guild Master’, as they identified themselves, explained they were members of a ‘historical recreation and education group’ and they were practicing ‘medieval science’. One of my sergeants recognized several participants as well known medical staff for our local Seven Days reenactments, and with some context and investigation of their materials, concluded that these could be considered similar efforts. We wrote some citations for improper storage of hazardous materials, and left.”

Guild Master Artemis Darkwood gave the guild’s side of the story: “We were minding our own business, trying to turn lead into gold, creating medicinal spirits, you know, alchemy. Then  the door flies open and a bunch of uniformed law enforcement comes storming in, screaming ‘GET ON THE FLOOR – HANDS UP’ and it was nothing like what you see on TV. After some initial confusion, we were able to make them understand that we weren’t actually a meth lab, but we can totally see how they could make that mistake. Some of our reagents stink. Anyway, they wrote me a couple tickets, poked around a bit, and left.”

The SCAllion will continue to investigate this incident, but we’ll probably just write a couple articles, poke around a bit, and go home. 

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