Arts and Sciences · Laurel

Old-Time Laurels refuse to listen to New Research by Younger Members 

BARONY OF JARARVELLIR, NORTHSHIELD – Long gone are the days when SCAdians attempted to document stretch panné velvet, but that’s not stopping Mistress Eowyn Greywind of House Dragonfire, who received her Laurel in 1982 for her exquisite use of the Betty Crocker Cookbook at feasts. Mistress Eowyn grimaced when asked about her disposition. “These millennial brats,” she spat. “Who are THEY to tell me what is and isn’t period?! Everybody knows spices were used to cover up bad meat, and that people drank ale or cider because the water wasn’t safe!” 

On the other side of the argument is Magistra Fausta Julia Secunda, known modernly as Dr. Marie Cassaro, a renowned food archaeologist and historian who has done groundbreaking work extracting extant contents from ancient amphorae. In addition to being one of the newest culinary laurels in Northshield, she also teaches at the University of Wisconsin – Madison as a chaired professor in Anthropology.

Returning from her trip to Crete where she excavated a Roman taberna near a port, Magistra Fausta was immediately accosted online by Mistress Eowyn, who lives in the Shire of Border Downs and hasn’t left her home in South Dakota in fifteen years. “HOW DARE YOU UNDO YEARS AND YEARS OF MY RESEARCH!” Eowyn screeched in caps lock, despite not releasing any new findings to the Society since her elevation, “I KNOW MORE ABOUT ROMAN FOOD THAN YOU DO! YOU KIDS NEED TO KNOW YOUR PLACE AND RESPECT YOUR ELDERS IN THE SOCIETY!” 

Magistra Fausta replied that she was in her 40s, and not a “kid”, and that she dug up pottery, not dinosaurs.

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