Day: March 16, 2023

Gleann Abhann · Gulf Wars · Knowne World · Rapier Combat

BREAKING: Gulf Wars Julep Party Raided by ATF

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SHIRE OF DRAGOUN’S WEAL, GLEANN ABHANN – In a concerted effort to regulate alcohol consumption amongst reenactors, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives raided the Mint Julep Party on the veranda at Gulf Wars. This led to a standoff between the party-goers and federal agents, with one countess wielding a broken fishbat, and the agents scratching their heads in befuddlement. 

Eyewitnesses to the standoff reported that the federal agents also were not sure why they were being sent to a warzone without more protective equipment.

The annual event is held during the Rapier Ravine Battle and has become the place to see and be seen for nobility throughout the Knowne World. The federal agents were initially mistaken by the combatants on the field as an unsporting flanking maneuver, though no one was clear on which kingdom they would have sided with.

An ATF spokesperson claimed that the agency had been told there was excessive alcohol consumption in conjunction with unregulated firearms, and the raid seemed to have borne this out. When asked for a description of the firearms, the agent at the press conference held up a rubber band gun.

When asked for further comment, Duchess Helene Livingstone, seneschal of Meridies, noted that it was unusual for Gulf Wars to see federal action. However, the events of prior wars, up to and including piracy in and around American waters, made Gulf Wars a prime choice for the Bureau to attempt a crackdown.

Arts and Sciences · Gleann Abhann · Gulf Wars · Laurel · Peerage

Kingdom of Gleann Abhann Bestows Laurel to Camp Cook for Actually Spreading Dysentery in Kingdom Encampment

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SHIRE OF DRAGOUN’S WEAL, GLEANN ABHANN – In an extraordinarily rare move, the Crowns of the Kingdom of Gleann Abhann yesterday bestowed a Laurel on the spot to their lowly camp cook, Lord Antoni Bourdelain, for the incredibly period act of spreading dysentery throughout the Kingdom encampment over the course of the week.

The Crowns in question, King Haakon “Sluggo” Haakonsson and Queen Fronika von Bremmensteiner, were two of the early afflicted, but were so impressed with Bourdelain’s dedication to cooking and period disease spread research that they immediately called for a council of available Laurels and polled their hapless cook on the spot. Those who could be torn away from the Port-a-Castles were quick to agree that they too were impressed with Lord Antoni’s persistence.

When asked for comment, now-Master Bourdelain said “Well shucks, I’m just trying to make the best sushi this good ole boy can. Training? Naw, never had none of that, but I sure can noodle me some catfish, and they grow them suckers big down here”. Inspectors from the Lumberton health department and the Mississippi State Department of Health, as well as officials from the USDA, have been on site for the last two days and are still investigating.