SHIRE OF DRAGOUN’S WEAL, GLEANN ABHANN – In an extraordinarily rare move, the Crowns of the Kingdom of Gleann Abhann yesterday bestowed a Laurel on the spot to their lowly camp cook, Lord Antoni Bourdelain, for the incredibly period act of spreading dysentery throughout the Kingdom encampment over the course of the week.
The Crowns in question, King Haakon “Sluggo” Haakonsson and Queen Fronika von Bremmensteiner, were two of the early afflicted, but were so impressed with Bourdelain’s dedication to cooking and period disease spread research that they immediately called for a council of available Laurels and polled their hapless cook on the spot. Those who could be torn away from the Port-a-Castles were quick to agree that they too were impressed with Lord Antoni’s persistence.
When asked for comment, now-Master Bourdelain said “Well shucks, I’m just trying to make the best sushi this good ole boy can. Training? Naw, never had none of that, but I sure can noodle me some catfish, and they grow them suckers big down here”. Inspectors from the Lumberton health department and the Mississippi State Department of Health, as well as officials from the USDA, have been on site for the last two days and are still investigating.
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