Board of Directors · Leeks

Board of Directors locates every letter sent to their email address 

BARONY OF BODLINGTONE, KINGDOM OF BODLANDIA – After a small fire in the facility which houses the Society’s storage unit, it was discovered that the Board Archives physically contain the entire history of emails sent to the Board for the last eight years. The storage unit contained nothing more than a wireless router, a Windows XP PC, an IBM 4224 line printer, and boxes upon boxes of paper ganged together. The system had been merrily printing away every email since at least 2015, as the earliest emails which could be found were concerning the establishment of the Order of Defense. The antiquated system was then found to automatically and systematically delete the emails from the server. 

The Board Chairperson Duchess Anne of Autumn, when reached for comment through social media, told The SCAllion that they were astonished about the find. “Really, we thought nothing was wrong in the Society since people were not contacting us through approved means.” Board Member Henry Och added “Really? That’s… interesting… I guess we will finally read those emails and act on the problems which I guess the Society has. Really… we just thought everything was fine.” 

Recent emails, though printed faintly, were still rather legible because IBM 4224 printers are bulletproof (the steel model is quite literally bulletproof).

As The SCAllion reporters were leaving, they overheard a Board member exclaim “Wait, So that SCAllion article was a metaphor for something which is actually happening?” Another was overheard as saying “oh my nuggans… so many Nazis…”  

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