SHIRE OF DRAGOUN’S WEAL, GLEANN ABHANN – Data released from Gulf Wars suggests that telling blows are up 14% over last year, with over 8,000 casualties reported in the ongoing “War with no enemies.”
Local officials were quick to note that the traditional Thursday thunderstorms were absent this year, leading to an unusual occurrence where all war points were held.
“The fact of the matter is we usually lose at least one battle to weather,” a Gulf Wars representative said. “We had about 15% more war, so it makes sense that we had about 15% more casualties.”
The SCAllion caught up with Erzog Lefrich on the side of the ravine, taking a moment before resurrecting to add tape to his knee cop. “It sucks, you know,” he said. “But that’s what it means to follow your King on campaign. You gather your gear when he calls, and kiss your family goodbye, knowing you may not see them again,” adding “until dinner.”
Asked if he was scared, Lefrich thought for a moment. “There’s not really time to be scared on the shieldwall,” he said, “There are things that I dread, though. I don’t want to die, no one does. The walk to and from Resurrection Point is kind of a trek. But the worst is going out there and dying from an anonymous crossbow bolt before you ever get to do hero shit.”
Gulf Wars typically has about 7,200 casualties, and accounts for a real-world cost of up to 30,000 days of PTO.