Advice · From the Newsroom

Goody Advice – Romance, ducks, and more

Dear Goody,

I really want a significant other, but I’m having problems getting people to see me as a viable romantic interest.  I’m doing everything I’ve learned from TV and romantic comedies. For example, when I meet a prospect at a camping event, I make a point of staying close to them through the entire event. I make sure their cup is full of the libation of their choice (if they are of legal drinking age), whether they request it or not. I try to express my affection by incessantly asking for hugs. I make a point of waiting for them directly outside the biffies so that I can offer my arm to accompany them to their next destination (especially if it’s their tent at the end of the night).

So far, my potential partners have all managed to give me the slip.

Should I confront them to point out how cruel they are being when I have made a point of being nice to them the entire event, or should I stick to targeting attractive newbies who might not yet know where all the exits are located?

Yours (if you give the slightest perceived signal),

Persistent Outside The Biffies

Dear Persistent, 

Oh, how very quaint. 

What you have described is creepy AF, date-rapey, and extra stalkery. Please, stay the hell at home in your den, lair or basement. Although this used to be largely tolerated and common behavior (and some may think it is still ok), it absolutely is not. We, the #IAmTheSCAllion of the Society will be looking for you. Consider this your first and last notification of warning.

-Goody Advice 

Dear Goody, I was injured by a fighter who was authorized only by their KEM. What should I do next?


Dear Injured,

Make sure to seek prompt medical attention for your injury, even if you feel it is small. Often injuries may seem more insignificant in the throws of adrenaline but later will rear up to haunt you. Once you have done that, work with a marshal and witnesses to document precisely what occurred and what actions led to your injury. Work within the system to report your injury and if required, seek mundane legal representation.  However,  if the injury was caused by a Duke then just walk away, slap a bandage on it and suck it up. If you want to keep enjoying your SCA experience,  just trust me on this one.

Hope this helps!

-Goody Advice 

Dear Goody, 

How do I convince my thrown weapons marshal to let me try throwing a duck? 

Fowl-play Fred

Dear Fred,

You are welcome to insert a throwing spike into a rubber duck or duck-shaped dog toy. Please be sure to clearly mark the striking edge, and explain to the marshal what your goal is. You may be asked to throw it solo on the range to demonstrate that you can throw it safely. (If you manage to figure out how to mark a striking edge on a live duck, feel free to send us a picture! Still not sure how you get it safely down range towards the target.)

If your marshal says that they don’t feel it’s safe, take the answer. The Marshal in Charge is the person who determines what is safe on the range.

Continued disagreement will probably end up with the range just getting closed and everyone else mad at you for taking their play time away. Thrown Weapons Marshals have even less humor about safety than Archery Marshals, and both of those cringe at what Heavy considers “tolerable”.

Hope this helps! 

-Goody Advice

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