BARONY OF OLDENFIELD, TRIMARIS: Following on the heels of some of the most restricting state legislation bills in the name of “freedom” and “liberty”, Governor Ron DeSantis of the State of Florida announced he would be personally sponsoring a bill that would not just require bloggers that discuss him in Florida to report their names to Tallahassee, but that SCA bloggers that write for The SCAllion would also have to report their names to the Board of Directors.
“It’s very important that we uphold these values of true liberty, freedom, and support for the free press by making sure they’re protected. By putting their names on lists. Easily accessible lists, wherein no harm will come to them whatsoever as long as they write favorably and don’t say anything that makes anybody mad whatsoever,” he said.
When The SCAllion asked Governor DeSantis why he decided to get involved with Society for Creative Anachronism politics, DeSantis replied, “I was approached by several supporters, mostly from outside of the Great Kingdom of Trimaris, to bring this issue to light. Also, since the SCA is an educational society, they may fall under some additional legislation as well.” The governor paused, “Wait, is there a union for SCA teachers? We’ll need to put their names on a list as well.”
Governor DeSantis is a graduate of Yale University’s history program where The SCAllion uncovered that he, indeed, learned about the type of people who historically put people on lists, and what happened to them, but much of his training and career as a lawyer made him stop caring about the finer nuances of crimes against humanity.
Citizens of the Kingdom of Trimaris were unavailable for comment, as they were too busy dressing their week-old wounds and making a fresh batch of rum runners at 9am EDT.
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