RIDING OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER — o hai. i iz in ur newz sauce, typin ur artical. teh news haz com to Teh SCAllion taht a verreh gud kitteh wuz not given fish.
teh hoomans at teh feest wuz eateding teh fish, but teh kitteh wuz not aloud any of teh fish. teh kitteh wuz bein verreh gud an wuz not even aloud to gib teh fish a sniff or a lik. teh humans eated it all and teh littul kitteh did not eated any.
lolcal spokeskitteh says, “iz verreh sad. teh kitteh’s food bowl haz nuffink in it but bikkits, teh kitteh is starve.”
investimigashuns bai Teh SCAllion reveeleded dat teh kitteh had not bean fed in at leest foar yeers or maybeh an Eternitys. hoomans is denyings dis, says dat teh kitteh wuz fed firty minz ago.
teh hooman is sayings, “Get off my keyboard, you! Shoo!” dey is refoozing to commented on teh fish sitchuashion.
moar on dis storeh as it develop.
the SCAllion 
Mewwwwww! Mrowww mew mew mrowww rawwwwrrrrr!
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