Advice · From the Newsroom · Peerage · Pelican

Goody Advice: Flouncing, flirting, and more

Dear Goody,
I’ve been a member for a lot of years, and want to leave the SCA. How do I flounce for maximum drama?
-On My Way Out

Dear On Your Way,

Just quit. You don’t have to tell anyone. And for fucks sake, stay gone. Otherwise we will doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.

Hope this helps!

-Goody Advice

Dear Goody, 
My peer’s wife is flirting with me heavily. I know they have an open relationship, but I’m not that kind of girl. How do I get myself out of this? 
-Hesitant Squire

Dear Hesitant, 

Some people flirt just to flirt and others do so with a purpose. When it comes to sex or personal safety, it is always ok to ask questions and to set boundaries. Have a polite but direct conversation asking her intentions. Once she tells you the purpose of her flirting you can tell her “No thank you”, “It makes me feel uncomfortable”, “I would like a different kind of relationship with you, as a friend” or something along those lines. Or if her intent is just shameless flirting for the sake of flirting, you can either roll with this or ask her to kindly knock it off. 

The important part is to be honest, address the issue directly, and set your firm limits. Yes, this seems the opposite of the SCA political and organizational structure, but from this blog you can probably guess how that is going over with the crowd. When one way clearly doesn’t work, just do better with honesty and clarity when addressing an issue. Try to spread that around because we need a hell of a lot of it in our game.

Hope this helps!

-Goody Advice

Dear Goody, 
I’m a brand-new Pelican, but I’m pretty burned out after all of the years of work it took to get to this point. I’ve heard all about the cliche that people get their Peerages and then stop doing things. Can I go to an event every now and then without working, just to hang out with my friends, without setting a bad example?
Burned Out

Dear Burned Out, 

Our Society has reached a state where we utterly consume a person in their field while also giving them dangerous mental anxiety in the process, and then bestow a peerage shortly before they entirely break. You have been grilled too long and are now charcoal at the edges. Now is a fantastic time to take a breath, go to events and remember why you fell in love with the SCA. 

Meet new people, actually experience events, take classes and let the Dream woo you back to your joy. Once you knock off your burnt edges and remember what it is like to play again, then you can dive back into the service deeps if you want. Just like real life, plan vacations for yourself in the months and years to come. Pick events that you most enjoy and plan to attend them rather than to run them. This will help keep you sane for many years to come.

Hope this helps!

-Goody Advice

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