Arts and Sciences · Outlands

Confused student accidentally defends master’s thesis to A&S judges, wins Kingdom A&S Championship

COLLEGE OF SCOLA METALLORUM, THE OUTLANDS – At The Outlands’ recent Kingdom Arts and Sciences Champions event, a confused student apparently stumbled into the judging, having mistaken the event space for their master’s defense location.

Master’s candidate Gloria Weisenbach was on their way to their master’s thesis defense when she apparently got lost and mistakenly walked into The Outlands’ A&S event. Confusing the judges with their defense panel, Gloria immediately began their defense, with the title of their thesis being “Textile composition in England, 1340-1380”. Upon completion, the judges immediately conferred with Their Majesties and moments later, Mx. Weisenbach was declared Kingdom A&S Champion.

Lead judge Mistress Isabella del Roccio was quoted as saying: “That was perhaps the most brilliant, thorough, and well-presented research I have ever been privileged to see. Gloria really deserves this; I’m absolutely stunned. More than that, I’m humbled. And that says a LOT.”

Mx. Weisenbach, however, remained confused: “Wait, did I pass? Did I successfully defend? What’s this sash? Who are those people in the funny hats, and why am I being made to stand behind them? WHAT’S GOING ON?”

The SCAllion will continue to follow this developing situation, and will report on how Mx. Weisenbach performs as champion.

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