SHIRE OF THE ISLES, CAID – An intrepid SCAllion writer recently met with a bored reporter for The Daily Mail, currently stuck in California trying to dig up dirt on Harry and Meghan, who leaked this story on the condition of anonymity and a generous helping of free drinks.
Boris Johnson, the disgraced former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, has decided to reinstate the British Empire by taking over the Society for Creative Anachronism and installing himself as President of the organization. He was overheard saying “Since the SCA seems to love the concept of glorious Olde England as much as I do, I’m going to run for President of the SCA. They don’t have any way to vote the president out, or insist on elections every five years. I mean, the current President has been in that position for almost 10 years. Not nearly as long as The Iron Lady, of course, but it’s a good solid run. Plus, I’m currently unemployed and the position comes with a generous salary in US dollars. As a bonus, it’s never been in the EU, although there are a lot of regulations.” Johnson then denied rumors he was contemplating a KWexit movement.
When asked why he was targeting the Society for Creative Anachronism for his power grab, Johnson was heard to say, “Rumor has it that they have the fourth largest standing army in the Continental US, just slightly larger than the 3 Percenters and the Proud Boys, and the SCA seems less troublesome than either of those groups. Although there is enough overlap that there have been a few scandals. Though none of those are that bad, really. A standing army willing to blindly follow a king seems just the sort of gift that will get me back in Charles’ good graces before his coronation, maybe even get me a proper knighthood.” Johnson, still facing backlash at home over holding parties during COVID lockdown, is said to be looking forward to being introduced to Pennsic party culture.
When approached for comment on this stunning news by The SCAllion, His Highness Grimr Vémundarson, Prince of Insulae Draconis, expressed substantial relief at the prospect of Johnson leaving his realm and stated that he would do everything necessary to encourage Johnson to go to the US.
Duchess Gremislava Zaya, Society Seneschal, had this to say: “Joke’s on him, we don’t elect our president.“