From the Newsroom · Real Life

Announcement: inspired by WGA strike, SCAllion reporters have opted to unionize.

BARONY OF HOLLEKE TOR, KINGDOM OF AETHER –  When the suggestion was made, the entirety of the newsroom agreed to start unionizing  immediately, citing the long and underpaid hours spent researching regulations about alligators and their status as an invasive species, reporting on the Society for Creative Anachronism Board of Directors’ latest choices and gaffes, and checking into the veracity of certain politicians’ claims to duchies. One reporter (who preferred to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation) claimed their motivation for joining was the lack of documented community standards: “The [Editor-in-Chief] won’t write them down anywhere,” they complained.

The newsroom has retained the services of Mandibula Pistrix, a labor mediator and Jaws’ third cousin, who says that she is looking forward to sinking her teeth into helping the new union write a watertight collective bargaining agreement. “I haven’t had anything this juicy to work on in a while,” she said, grinning broadly.

Mandibula is working with the Satirical Topics and Related Bursts of Unironic Knowledge Service (STARBUCKS) which has had a great deal of recent success with unionizing efforts. Initial discussion has centered on whether  the newsroom staff are properly “partners,” “minions,”or has been previously reported with respect to the interns, “a murder of crows.”  Mandibula commented, “Should the murder of crows unionize, the ramifications for avian/human labor relations could be  far-reaching.  Several cat cafés have already approached me and after knocking my stapler off my desk, asked to be kept informed of any progress.” 

The prospective union is being formed as Local 101 of Satire Writers Of the Luminous Ether (SWOLE 101).

When asked for comment, the Editor-in-Chief said, “I mean, you can strike if you want, I guess – bearing in mind that I already don’t (and can’t) pay you. But if you want to start a union, I’m not going to stop you.”


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