SHIRE OF ARDANROE, GLEANN ABHANN — History was made last week, when the rapier fighters of Ardanroe submitted a formal proposal to Kingdom that stipulated that use of the late-period garment known as trunk hose be limited to members of the rapier community. The proposal is making waves, as it is the first requested sumptuary law not based on regalia or modern sensibilities.
The origin of the proposal is largely attributed to one incident that took place at the Athenian Symposium of the Arts and Sciences. Ambitious apprentice, Lord Claude Tanquerel, created a spectacular entry centered around a pair of hand-created Bohemian trunk hose. Unfortunately, the quality of the research and garment did not garner the attention they both deserved so much as Squire Saebjorn Sørensen, Lord Tanquerel’s husband, who had graciously agreed to act as model for the trunk hose. Only ever seen in a T-tunic prior to the Symposium, attendees were astonished to discover that Sørensen possesses exceptionally attractive legs.
News of his shapely calves has quickly spread throughout the kingdom and currently has the rapier community in a state of panic. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen photos,” said Don Mariotto d’Agnolo, “We’re used to the Knowne World revolving around heavy fighters, but trunk hose? Trunk hose is our thing!”
“He’s not wrong,” agreed Awliff MacConnogh, “There’s a lot of belt-chasers out there. For many of us, all we have is our legs. If heavy fighters start edging in on our action, we might as well rebrand as a monastic order.”
When asked for comment, Sørensen appeared sheepish, “Look, I didn’t ask for all this attention! I was doing a favor for my husband. The focus should be on the hose, not the legs inside the hose!” It has been noted by various heavy fighters that this infamy may hamper Sørensen’s path to knighthood, as his knight is disturbed by the thought that he may be mentoring the Society equivalent of Pippa Middleton.In any case, The SCAllion very much looks forward to seeing the proposal debated among Kingdom officials. More updates to come as the situation develops.
the SCAllion 