PRINCIPALITY OF CYNAGUA, THE WEST – For the first time in the Principality of Cynagua’s history a slate of training programs for officers and marshals has gotten past the theoretical stage to actually be written into a coherent and sustainable program for all officers and a parallel training program for marshals has been made a part of Principality law and policy.
Officers, who have long complained about the lack of codified, consistent training will now have to attend either an in-person or virtual class in advance of taking over an office and again within the first six months of holding the office. Failure to do so will result in immediate sanction, and loss of dessert at all feasts, forever.
All marshals in all disciplines will have to attend practical, hands-on classes to show that they know the latest version of the Kingdom’s rules for their specific martial discipline. Any marshal who cites a rules set more than 10 years out of date will be immediately suspended and required to assist with field breakdown at their next three events.
Lifeguards will be required to join the Known World Lifeguard Union, and attend alligator wrestling classes.
Not everyone is in favor of the new initiatives. “Safety, smafety! We did fine for the first 50+ years of the Society. Not sure why we should change,” said Sir Godfried aus Turigen. We caught up to Sir Godfried in the emergency room of the hospital where he was having his arm splinted from an unsafe blow.
All questions about the new Principality laws should be directed to the Principality’s seneschal or one of their raccoons.
BARONY OF BODLINGTONE, KINGDOM OF BODLANDIA – A splinter group of militant archers from across the Knowne World have broken into the Society for Creative Anachronism Board of Directors boardroom and taken the entire Board of Directors hostage, demanding the immediate creation of an archery peerage.
The SCAllion is currently at the scene as law enforcement have surrounded and sealed off the area and laid what can only be described as siege in order to force the small group of archers to surrender and release their hostages. Captain Andrew Burton released this statement: “We are currently in contact with the group inside and they have assured us they have not harmed any of the hostages at this time. Their list of demands isn’t very long, and we’re still trying to make sense of it. Their main demand is a new ‘Peerage’ for archers. We frankly don’t know what that means, and we’re going to be ramping up the pressure soon to try to force their hand.”
The SCAllion was able to briefly contact one of the archers inside via cell phone, and received this from them: “Come on, we’ve waited long enough! The fencers get a peerage and we don’t? We’re a larger community with a longer history! The BoD needs to make this happen and quit jerking us around! We only want equality!”
The SCAllion will remain on the scene until this crisis is resolved.
SHIRE OF DRAGOUN’S WEAL, GLEANN ABHANN – Data released from Gulf Wars suggests that telling blows are up 14% over last year, with over 8,000 casualties reported in the ongoing “War with no enemies.”
Local officials were quick to note that the traditional Thursday thunderstorms were absent this year, leading to an unusual occurrence where all war points were held.
“The fact of the matter is we usually lose at least one battle to weather,” a Gulf Wars representative said. “We had about 15% more war, so it makes sense that we had about 15% more casualties.”
The SCAllion caught up with Erzog Lefrich on the side of the ravine, taking a moment before resurrecting to add tape to his knee cop. “It sucks, you know,” he said. “But that’s what it means to follow your King on campaign. You gather your gear when he calls, and kiss your family goodbye, knowing you may not see them again,” adding “until dinner.”
Asked if he was scared, Lefrich thought for a moment. “There’s not really time to be scared on the shieldwall,” he said, “There are things that I dread, though. I don’t want to die, no one does. The walk to and from Resurrection Point is kind of a trek. But the worst is going out there and dying from an anonymous crossbow bolt before you ever get to do hero shit.”
Gulf Wars typically has about 7,200 casualties, and accounts for a real-world cost of up to 30,000 days of PTO.
BARONY OF NAMRON, ANSTEORRA – This morning, an email was sent by the Society Earl Marshal Reginbold Strubel to Deputy Archery Marshal Reynallt Anghall ap Griffith and Deputy Combat Archery Marshal Joveta Cantatrix that going forward, no missile weapons are allowed to use mistletoe in their construction, effective immediately. All combat archery marshals at Gulf Wars would need to ensure that no mistletoe-based arrows or arrows with mistletoe in their construction would be going downfield.
“We have received reports that alligators are highly sensitive to mistletoe, and being an environmentally friendly organization, we want to make sure no alligators are harmed by such weapons,” said the Society Earl Marshal.
When reached for comment, the Society Combat Archery Marshal seemed a bit confused. “We have not allowed any wood for combat arrows in like 15 years, not sure what they are trying to ban. Also, is there a reason we need to not harm alligators? Don’t they eat people?”
When the statement from the Combat Archery Marshal was quoted to the SEM for further comment, he asked who that person was. “I mean, it’s not like I need to know who all these folks doing minor activities are, right?”
BARONY OF BRIGHT HILLS, ATLANTIA – In emergency marshals’ meetings this week, the archery and thrown weapons marshals of Atlantia have voted to form a union and to go on strike if their demands are not met.
Their primary demand? That the Marshal in Charge is acknowledged as the only authority after God on the range while the activity is in progress.
“This is very much a safety item,” said Mistress Beatrice ferch Wyn, the new union president. “And what we are demanding is that the rights of the range marshal as the ultimate authority on their range be confirmed by the Kingdom and Society Earls Marshal. This has long been the understanding of our marshallates, but recent decisions by the SEM and BoD have left too many questions in the air.”
This situation was brought about by the recent ruling of the Society Earl Marshal and the SCA Board of Directors to sanction a lifeguard for attempting to enforce Society for Creative Anachronism’s safety rules. One thrown weapons marshal on Facebook was seen to say, “We’re throwing sharp axes, knives, and spears. I don’t care if you are God Themself, if you are being a jerk on my range, I’m kicking you off for the safety of everyone else. Where the hell is my union card? I’m signing up right now.”
Kingdom Archery Marshal William Harrison supported the unionization efforts. “I have tried to get it through the heads above me that the reason we use targets rather than people is because what we use are live weapons. Thrown Weapons is in the same position. One wrong move with rattan is going to hurt, but it’s not going to be deadly. If someone violates the range safety rules, the likelihood of serious injury is extremely high. If my marshals want to go on strike until their right to ensure the safety for all participants is acknowledged, I will stand on that picket line with them.”
The movement seems to have kicked off similar efforts in other kingdoms, but no one else has yet put it to the vote.
Neither the Board of Directors or the office of the Society Earl Marshal had responded to requests for comment by press time. One member of the SEM’s staff, however, had posted to his facebook, “So who cares if there isn’t archery or thrown weapons at Gulf Wars? It’s not like it’s fighting.”
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