Category: Gleann Abhann

Armored Combat · Arts and Sciences · Gleann Abhann · Rapier Combat

Gleann Abhann rapier fighters seek sumptuary laws against heavy fighting community

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SHIRE OF ARDANROE, GLEANN ABHANN — History was made last week, when the rapier fighters of Ardanroe submitted a formal proposal to Kingdom that stipulated that use of the late-period garment known as trunk hose be limited to members of the rapier community. The proposal is making waves, as it is the first requested sumptuary law not based on regalia or modern sensibilities.

The origin of the proposal is largely attributed to one incident that took place at the Athenian Symposium of the Arts and Sciences. Ambitious apprentice, Lord Claude Tanquerel, created a spectacular entry centered around a pair of hand-created Bohemian trunk hose. Unfortunately, the quality of the research and garment did not garner the attention they both deserved so much as Squire Saebjorn Sørensen, Lord Tanquerel’s husband, who had graciously agreed to act as model for the trunk hose. Only ever seen in a T-tunic prior to the Symposium, attendees were astonished to discover that Sørensen possesses exceptionally attractive legs.

News of his shapely calves has quickly spread throughout the kingdom and currently has the rapier community in a state of panic. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen photos,” said Don Mariotto d’Agnolo, “We’re used to the Knowne World revolving around heavy fighters, but trunk hose? Trunk hose is our thing!”

“He’s not wrong,” agreed Awliff MacConnogh, “There’s a lot of belt-chasers out there. For many of us, all we have is our legs. If heavy fighters start edging in on our action, we might as well rebrand as a monastic order.”

When asked for comment, Sørensen appeared sheepish, “Look, I didn’t ask for all this attention! I was doing a favor for my husband. The focus should be on the hose, not the legs inside the hose!” It has been noted by various heavy fighters that this infamy may hamper Sørensen’s path to knighthood, as his knight is disturbed by the thought that he may be mentoring the Society equivalent of Pippa Middleton.In any case, The SCAllion very much looks forward to seeing the proposal debated among Kingdom officials. More updates to come as the situation develops.

Aethelmearc · Ansteorra · Artemisia · Arts and Sciences · Atenveldt · Atlantia · Avacal · Caid · Calontir · Cynagua · Drachenwald · Ealdormere · East · Gleann Abhann · Insulae Draconis · Knowne World · Lochac · Meridies · Midrealm · Mists · Nordmark · Northshield · Outlands · Tir Mara · Tir Righ · Trimaris · West

Known World Wordsmiths join WGA strike

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KNOWNE WORLD – Across all of the kingdoms of the Knowne World, wordsmiths of the Society for Creative Anachronism are launching a sympathy strike with the Writers Guild of America (WGA). These “wordsmiths” of the Knowne World are those who provide texts for award scrolls and related documents, as well as ceremony heralds and royal schtick writers. Renowned wordsmith and poet, Magistra Virginia Lupa released a statement.

“So much of what we do in the Knowne World has been influenced by members of the WGA, whose work has informed and, if you will pardon a little scribal joke, illuminated our own work. While members of the WGA are striking over issues which affect their very livelihood, SCA wordsmiths and scribes can also suffer from difficult working conditions, and although our “pay” comes in social capital and wordfame, sometimes we don’t even get that.  Supporting our sibling writers in the WGA seems only fair, after all they’ve given us.”

The strike has affected all the kingdoms, though some have been harder hit than others.  Kingdoms which have standard texts for some awards have suffered less than those where all scrolls are unique. Some of those kingdoms have begun to look through older scroll texts to find those which can be depersonalised and recycled. Peerage scrolls are universally unique, causing some kingdoms to delay elevations while the strike is ongoing.

Some kingdoms have even resorted to scabs, with predictably poor results. Maestra Monica do Cabo Verde, elevated shortly after the strike began, was a victim. “The illumination is gorgeous, the calligraphy is fantastic, but the text.”  Maestra Monica burst into tears before giving The SCAllion a transcription of the text, which is reproduced below in its entirety.

A woman stood out from the rest
Her service was truly the best
A Pelican she
Really ought to be
Signed , the King and the Queen of the West

The SCAllion supports the WGA and the Knowne World wordsmiths in their fight for fair treatment.

Arts and Sciences · Gleann Abhann · Peerage

New Gleann Abhann Laurel uses dysentery spread data to expand research into practical bubonic plague study in home group

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BARONY OF AXEMOOR, GLEANN ABHANN – Newly minted Laurel Mestre Antoni Bourdelain (of recent dysentery spread fame) has expanded his infectious disease spread research to include the famed Black Death, also known as the bubonic plague.

Bubonic plague, also known by its scientific name Yersinia pestis, is primarily transmitted by flea-bitten rats, but also found in other forms of wildlife such as chipmunks and other rodents. Bourdelain’s expanded research, centered on his home barony’s main city of New Orleans, is reaping immediate results, with the city and state’s public health authorities responding in a mass wave of quarantine and isolation for Axemoor’s environs.  In detailing his research, Bourdelain explained that he had released three rats, a nutria, and a chipmunk, all humanely trapped using period methods, and would track them with a bit of modern technology: GPS trackers attached to period medieval collars.

The SCAllion interviewed New Orleans’ director of public health, who explained that she had “never seen anything on this scale since 1921,” and that research to find the correct trash collection bins from that period would contribute heavily in stopping the spread of the disease.

However, Gleann Abhann’s royalty and Laurels were duly impressed with the depth and commitment to live research which Mestre Bourdelain was so clearly displaying. It was noted, however, that much of the circle was unavailable for comment due to quarantine measures.

When contacted by phone in a later interview, Mestre Antoni’s response was the following: “Aw, shucks. I was just tryin’ a new recipe with scavenged resources, in this case, rat. Who knew THIS was’a gonna happen . . . again?”.

Aethelmearc · Ale-houses, Taverns, and Pubs · Ansteorra · Flavourchestre · From the Newsroom · Gleann Abhann · Gulf Wars · Knowne World · Lilies War

Sir Guido goes to Gulf Wars and finds FLAVOURCHESTRE!

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Hey all, Sir Guido di Orgoglioso here and I just got done with a week with some of the BEST FOOD in the Knowne Worlde! I’m talking pierogies, mutton, pickled catfish, you name it, someone here at Gulf Wars was making it! And I am gonna give you the 411 on all the best!

On Monday, I sat in for grub with a fantabulous Venetian dinner made by that infamous Laurel of AEthelmearc. Not gonna name drop, but honestly, you should know the one. That meal was bangin’! Her fish pies, the spices were just killer! She brings her game and that venison is GOOD! Cannot recommend highly enough, she is the Baroness of Flavourchestre.

Wednesday night was the annual pilgrimage to Ansteorra Chili Night. As usual, that line was long, but the chili was worth the wait. A true Festival of Dynamite. They wisely did not take sides in the Religious Chili Wars, instead opting to have beans on the side so folks could decide whether or not to commit heresy. With a large selection of hot sauces to choose from, folks could make things mild or as funkalicious as they desired. The only complaint would be that (as usual) the sour cream and cheese on the side ran out about 5 minutes into serving. Maybe one day they will have enough to go around!

And finally, the ever popular Knowne World Party last night. It being St. Patty’s Day, there was green EVERYWHERE! Booze, beer, food, several of the party goers. You name it, everywhere you looked, there was green. Personally, I loved the whole vibe. The green margaritas were bangin’. It felt like Mardi Gras decided to visit Ireland in South Mississippi! Always a fantastic time.

The only disappointment was the continued absence of the Green Rice Bowl. Nobody is ever gonna replace them for a quick and easy lunch at war! 

The whole week was fun. It was bananas, and bananas are good. Post period, but good.

Stay tuned for our next report when we hit Lilies. I hear those Calontiri know how to throw a party, I am looking forward to finding out on our next issue of Ale-houses, Taverns, and Pubs!

Gleann Abhann · Gulf Wars · Knowne World · Rapier Combat

BREAKING: Gulf Wars Julep Party Raided by ATF

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SHIRE OF DRAGOUN’S WEAL, GLEANN ABHANN – In a concerted effort to regulate alcohol consumption amongst reenactors, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives raided the Mint Julep Party on the veranda at Gulf Wars. This led to a standoff between the party-goers and federal agents, with one countess wielding a broken fishbat, and the agents scratching their heads in befuddlement. 

Eyewitnesses to the standoff reported that the federal agents also were not sure why they were being sent to a warzone without more protective equipment.

The annual event is held during the Rapier Ravine Battle and has become the place to see and be seen for nobility throughout the Knowne World. The federal agents were initially mistaken by the combatants on the field as an unsporting flanking maneuver, though no one was clear on which kingdom they would have sided with.

An ATF spokesperson claimed that the agency had been told there was excessive alcohol consumption in conjunction with unregulated firearms, and the raid seemed to have borne this out. When asked for a description of the firearms, the agent at the press conference held up a rubber band gun.

When asked for further comment, Duchess Helene Livingstone, seneschal of Meridies, noted that it was unusual for Gulf Wars to see federal action. However, the events of prior wars, up to and including piracy in and around American waters, made Gulf Wars a prime choice for the Bureau to attempt a crackdown.

Arts and Sciences · Gleann Abhann · Gulf Wars · Laurel · Peerage

Kingdom of Gleann Abhann Bestows Laurel to Camp Cook for Actually Spreading Dysentery in Kingdom Encampment

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SHIRE OF DRAGOUN’S WEAL, GLEANN ABHANN – In an extraordinarily rare move, the Crowns of the Kingdom of Gleann Abhann yesterday bestowed a Laurel on the spot to their lowly camp cook, Lord Antoni Bourdelain, for the incredibly period act of spreading dysentery throughout the Kingdom encampment over the course of the week.

The Crowns in question, King Haakon “Sluggo” Haakonsson and Queen Fronika von Bremmensteiner, were two of the early afflicted, but were so impressed with Bourdelain’s dedication to cooking and period disease spread research that they immediately called for a council of available Laurels and polled their hapless cook on the spot. Those who could be torn away from the Port-a-Castles were quick to agree that they too were impressed with Lord Antoni’s persistence.

When asked for comment, now-Master Bourdelain said “Well shucks, I’m just trying to make the best sushi this good ole boy can. Training? Naw, never had none of that, but I sure can noodle me some catfish, and they grow them suckers big down here”. Inspectors from the Lumberton health department and the Mississippi State Department of Health, as well as officials from the USDA, have been on site for the last two days and are still investigating.

Gleann Abhann · Gulf Wars

Gulf Wars acknowledges aging populace, moves “midnight madness” sale to end at 10 p.m.

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SHIRE OF DRAGOUN’S WEAL, GLEANN ABHANN, GULF WARS – In the face of an aging populace, Gulf Wars event stewards have adjusted the hours of the traditional “Midnight Madness” sale to end at 10 p.m. on Wednesday.

“Merchants have been telling us for a couple of years now that their foot traffic really drops off after about 9:30 p.m., even on Wednesday,” said Mistress Sarah Cook, the Gulf Wars Merchant Coordinator. “The consensus was this year that even the merchants would rather have the foot traffic earlier and get to bed at a reasonable hour.”

Duchess Emmeline of Gleann Abhann agreed. “We’re not the party people we once were,” she told us. “My lord and I really prefer our nightly routine of being in bed by about 10:00. I’ll read while he watches part of A Lion in Winter on his phone and we’re asleep by 10:30.”

In related news, The SCAllion expects the Knowne World Party to offer an exclusive, discounted menu from 4:30-6PM for attendees who joined before AS XXXII.

Arts and Sciences · Gleann Abhann · Peerage · Pelican · Service

Are Passive Aggressive Behaviors Art or Service?

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BARONY OF SMALL GREY BEAR, GLEANN ABHANN. A baronial meeting in the Barony of Small Grey Bear turned into an outright brawl last night as a local polling order discussed if passive aggressive behavior was more of an art or a service.

“I hoped for better from the Pelicans in this barony,” said Mistress Sara von Schueffln, “but they don’t understand the beauty of a well placed comment.”

Master Charles D’Arcy responded, “It’s not that we don’t appreciate the beauty of a fantastic underhanded comment,” he said, “but it’s giving someone the opportunity to learn better behavior if they’re actually listening. That sort of instruction is a service!”

This discussion came about due to simultaneous submissions of a gentle for the baronial awards for service and for A&S, triggered by the same comment at fighter practice.

When asked for comment, the President of the SCA claimed, “it’s more of a combat sport than thrown weapons or archery, but, sure, it’s fine if they think that way.”

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Society Social Media Officer Tells Satire Website They Aren’t Funny

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…Website replies with, “We know.”

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