Who/what are you?
A nonspecific amorphous blob of snark and satire.
Can I write for the SCAllion?
No. You’re not as funny or as attractive as the Editorial Staff.
Why have you picked on my kingdom so much?
We at The SCAllion make very sure to distribute our satire equitably across all 20 kingdoms. We have a spreadsheet and everything.
I have a great idea for an article, can I send it to you?
No. All SCAllion articles are created by playing word association with a Magic Eight Ball.
You said a hurtful thing about a group that I’m in and I’m unhappy, who do I complain to?
Post it on your personal social media page of choice. Our writers are afraid of technology beyond the quill and ink; this will ensure that they never see complaints and their fragile egos remain intact.
I feel personally attacked by an article you wrote. Why are you being hurtful?
Why do you think the article is about you?
How can we support the SCAllion?
Sadly, it is currently illegal to transport blackjack and hookers across state lines so as of now, share us on the Book of Faces or in any online successor to the Roman Forum. You can also support us by buying our merch at our RedBubble store.
When I buy your merch, where does my money go?
Proceeds from our RedBubble store are used first and foremost to defray the costs of running the SCAllion. (Hosting fees, mainly.) Any funds raised beyond what’s needed to keep our lights on are donated periodically to charities that defend free speech. Occasionally, as a team-building activity, we will use the funds to get fancy sodas or other beverages of choice. The SCAllion is entirely staffed by volunteers.
Isn’t this illegal/defamation/insert favorite outraged phrase here?
Fortunately, if you’re on the internet, you can look up the definition of satire in any number of helpful online dictionaries.