SHIRE OF STONEGATE, ARTEMISIA – Elisif Jonasdottir, sixth grader and second generation SCAdian, was sent home from Sunday School last week with a note from church leadership asking her parents to have a discussion with their child about arguing with the Sunday School teacher in front of the other young faithful.
The trouble started when Elisif corrected Mildred Miller, the teacher, when she announced that the enshrinement of the Trinity into Christianity was not established at the first Council of Nicea in 325 CE, but later with the Council of Constantinople in 381 CE. Things got heated when Elisif explained that the Council of Nicea was about the establishment of Christ as a deity, and that the full Trinititarian argument could not be taken up until after that fact had been established. At first, Mrs. Miller sent Elisif to stand in the corner, but was moved to send her home with the note after Elisif, from the corner, disputed that gnosticism was excluded from Christianity in 325 CE as well. “Heretics were forgiven at the Council of Nicea!” She shouted, “I can’t believe I have to get angry about this!”
“I’m not sure where she got that from,” commented her father Lord Jonas Jonasson, “We study Norse history together, not Byzantine history. I mean, I let her read Knowne World Humor, so maybe there was a meme she picked up on?”
“I’m proud of her,” declared her mother, Íþróttakona Margaretha Osterberg, “Mrs. Miller taught that Akhenaten was the first monotheist, and Elisif’s opinion is that Akhenaten was not practicing monotheism but a syncretistic melding of the traditions of his populace. This is a reasonable position to maintain. I think this is when the trouble started.”
It is not known when Elisif will be able to go back to Sunday School. Her parents said she was looking forward to the inevitable fight about Martin Luther nailing the 95 Theses to the door of the church. “There’s no textural evidence that he did any such thing,” Elisif announced. “I can’t wait to blow a hole in that fairy tale,” she declared.
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