An Tir · Ansteorra · Board of Directors · Calontir · Community Standards · East · Editorial · From the Newsroom · Lochac · Meridies · Midrealm · Northshield · Sanctions · Trimaris

The SCAllion Guide to “Community Standards” – Part 1 in a New Series

Given the position taken by the Board of Directors at its April 23, 2023 meeting that sanctions properly can be imposed on SCA members for violations of unwritten “community standards,” the editors of The SCAllion have decided to provide a public service by providing examples of unwritten “community standards” in each Kingdom that visitors should be aware of, so as not to be sanctioned.  

The East:  DO NOT

  • Suggest that the Kingdom could use pre-printed scrolls for some awards;
  • Admit that you sort of hate going to Pennsic; or
  • Admit you were wrong about something on a polling discussion list (sanctions are extra likely if it’s on the Maunche list).

The Middle: DO NOT

  • Forget to bow to an empty throne;
  • Admit that you sort of hate going to Pennsic; or
  • Forget to fill out notarized paperwork in triplicate for all Society activities or gatherings.

Meridies:  DO NOT

  • Question why a squire is wearing an unadorned silver chain;
  • Suggest that a feast reasonably might cost more than $15; or
  • Overlook any of the voluminous (repeated, but still enforced) regulations for displaying banners.

Ansteorra:  DO NOT

  • Get on the wrong side of the debate over whether beans belong in chili;
  • Forget to ask a Queen, Princess or Lady of the Rose who is on the fighting or rapier field whether you have permission to hit them; or
  • Refuse the offerings of the waterbearers.

An Tir: DO NOT

  • Use more checky fabric in your garb than your station allows;
  • Let your passport lapse; or
  • Tell the Baronies of Madrone or Three Mountains that the other was founded first.

Calontir:  DO NOT

  • Express dislike of camping events;
  • Mention that you really hate singing; or
  • Have a persona from post-1400.

Northshield: DO NOT

  • Disparage hotdish;
  • Complain about the cold; or
  • Attempt to go off script from the Boke of Ceremonies

Trimaris: DO NOT

  • Suggest that an event be held at a hotel;
  •  Object to alligators in your lakes and swimming pools; or
  •  Make Dukes adhere to the rules of the list or Kingdom law.

Lochac:  DO NOT

  • Pretend as though the Order of Precedence actually matters;
  • Claim your kingdom owns Ynys Rhew (Antarctica); or
  • Make sheep jokes about the other half of the Kingdom.

Over the next several weeks, our roving reporters in the various Kingdoms will continue to compile the most notable unwritten “community standards.”  We will continue to provide this important service for as long as the Board keeps trying to enforce this utterly ridiculous and frankly insulting ruling.

Board of Directors · Leaks · Leeks · Meridies

SCA BoD Discovered to be HOA

CANTON OF SOUTH REACH, MERIDIES – In a groundbreaking piece of investigative journalism, The SCAllion has learned that the Board of Directors for the Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc. are in fact a local homeowner’s association based out of the Canton of Hockwald.

“It all makes sense now,” said Tighearn Curstaidh Keegan, a resident of the area. “You start to think about the meetings that no one attends, the arbitrary decisions, the mistrust and annoyance of most of the membership. It’s actually not that surprising.”

The SCAllion has learned that Corpora is nearly identical to the governing documents for the Mountain Gate Homeowners’ Association, with only slight tweaks to the wording changing the incredibly specific requirements to maintain landscaping in the small HOA to incredibly specific requirements for Crown List.

Sharp-eyed readers of Corpora can still find places where the SCA Governing Documents have not been fully converted from the HOA bylaws. Examples include the requirement that Kingdoms may only park two vehicles in their driveways and the list of approved colors for tents.

We here at The SCAllion would love to investigate further, but we can’t afford to take the time away from our regular mandate of providing you high-quality satire that’s both silly and biting social commentary. You can help by liking and sharing this article using the hashtag #TheSCAllion and telling us the rules from your local group, Kingdom, or Corpora that seem most like an HOA gone rogue.

Heraldry · Laurel · Meridies

Meridian Knight attempts to pass 14 versions of Confederate flag. College of Arms flatly denies: “South Won’t Rise on Our Watch”

SHIRE OF TALMERE, MERIDIES – In a shocking development during a routine Meridian College of Heralds decision meeting, Pennon Herald presided over a controversial series of submissions. Sir Humperdinck Gilders wanted to celebrate his own “cultural heritage” in the wake of current DEI initiatives. The SCAllion was invited to the internal decision meeting where Sir Humperdinck’s 14 submissions were discussed.

The first submission, blazoned as “Sable, a mullet within a saltire voided argent,” was immediately shut down as a direct conflict with Meridies’ now-retired populace badge. Sir Humperdinck’s other variants included a black and white version of the so-called Stainless Banner, as well as black and white versions of the Stars and Bars, and color inverted versions of the same.

Lady Lillian Roberts, Pennon Herald, referred all badges up to the society College of Arms for the Wreath Sovereign of Arms to be the decision maker on these items, stating, “Let them sort this out; this is way above my paygrade.”

Upon the items in question reaching Wreath’s desk, The SCAllion is told that Wreath took one look at them and returned the lot, with a stern cover note stating that “The South is not going to rise on our watch. The South was beaten and needs to stay beaten. I’ve seen baronages with longer terms than the damn Confederacy!”

When asked for comment, Sir Humperdinck was rather indignant; “This is discrimination, is what this is! This isn’t about hate, this is about my heritage! I am a proud white Southern man, with a proud heritage, displaying my Southern Pride. General Lee was a hero, fighting for the Lost Cause, and his contribution deserves to be celebrated! This is discrimination. I am proud of my heritage and deserve to be able to display that.”

The Laurel Sovereign’s office responded to these remarks by sending The SCAllion a link to the United States Army Chorus singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic.


Young Adult Disappointed that the College of Phoenix Rising isn’t a Real College. 

COLLEGE OF PHOENIX RISING, MERIDIES – “I already invited my extended family to my graduation,” says Jason Billings, a 22 year old from Alabama. Jason has spent the last four years participating as an active member in the College of Phoenix Rising, making sure to attend every meeting, event, practice, and class so that he could get what he thought was a degree in Medieval Studies. “Yeah, I thought it was a little different from what I had heard about college, but, honestly, I was willing to overlook anything after I saw how cheap the tuition fees were,” Billings continued. 

Billings first heard about the College of Phoenix Rising at a presentation in high school and, having mistaken them as a college promoter, joined the College of Phoenix Rising after he graduated high school in 2019. He thought he was on the right track when he received his Award of Arms (which he mistook for an associate’s degree) in 2020, but was surprised this year when he went to his advisor (the seneschal of the group) to inquire about graduation only to find out that not only was he not graduating, but the College of Phoenix Rising wasn’t a college at all!

Though Billings and his family are disappointed, Billings has decided to look on the bright side. Now sure of his focus in school, Billings will be starting a degree in Medieval Studies this August (“I checked it was a real college twice this time!”) and has taken this opportunity to take his extended family to an event since they “already bought plane tickets and they’ll be in the area anyways.”