BARONY OF POLITARCHOPOLIS, LOCHAC — Tourney-watchers were surprised at the recent Baronial Rapier Championship Tourney in the Barony of Politarchopolis when a previously unknown combatant came out of nowhere to win the prize. Demonstrating unusual speed and stamina, the newly-authorized fencer calling themselves Skippe Tailforth defeated all comers, including a number of Masters of Defense, to claim the Baronial Championship.
Jaws dropped to the floor, however, when the new Champion doffed their mask and revealed themselves to be an Eastern Grey Kangaroo dressed in the finest middle class Elizabethan garb!
After consulting the rules of the list and of the tourney, and speaking hurriedly with their Excellencies of Politarchopolis, Maestro Christofalo Valaresso, outgoing Champion and Marshal in Charge of the event nevertheless declared Skippe the winner and new Baronial Champion. In a post-tourney interview with The SCAllion, Maestro Christofalo explained, “There’s honestly nothing in the rules of the list or of the Society that say that combatants have to be human. Skippe went through the proper authorization process, conducted themselves honorably, and won the tourney fair and square. I’m happy to welcome them to the Lochac rapier community.” After glancing a few times over his shoulder, he added, “Anyway, I’d rather have a larrikin ‘roo who plays by the rules than some galah of a Duke that doesn’t, any day.”
Baroness Zubayda al-khayyāta of Politarchopolis was very pleased with her new Rapier Champion, telling The SCAllion’s on site reporter, “Skippe is a wonderful example of the sort of new SCAdians we can attract now that we are committed to welcoming personae from all over the world. I’m pretty chuffed.”
In an exclusive interview with The SCAllion, Skippe Tailforth explained what brought them to the Society for Creative Anachronism. “Hey, my mate Bruce had such a ripper of a time on the field at [Rowany] Festival that I just had to have a crack at this fencing thing. Everyone’s been ridgy-didge bonza. I reckon you’ll be seeing a lot of the ‘roo mob coming out to play from here on out.”
News of Skippe’s win was met with amusement and delight throughout Lochac. Meanwhile, the U.S. Board of Directors is said to be hastily writing new language for Corpora in order to keep actual rhinos out of Crown Tourneys everywhere.
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